Phantom Reflections

Truisms of the Tour de France

I've watched the Tour de France enough to learn a few truisms about the race. Although I'm tuning in this year with one eye closed, waiting for the big police raid of the buses or something. Still, I watch for the riders -- not the TDF organization or any of that. It's such a huge achievement to even reach the level to compete in the race. My hats off to all the riders. I just wish that Floyd Landis was cleared prior to the race so he could enjoy being the champion.

But on to the truisms. You may notice some of the same things. Here they are:

1. No matter how far ahead the breakaway is on the early flat stages, the riders will be caught in the last 400 meters.
2. They seem to get really tall podium girls.
3. Bernard Hinault will be wearing a short sleeve light blue shirt.
4. American cycling fans don't like to wear shirts at all. Just watch in the mountain stages. I'm sure a few shirtless, beered-up Yanks will be cheering on Levi.
5. The cameras on the helicopters and/or bikes will go out at just the right time.
6. Bob Roll will mispronounce every rider, team, French town, and day of the week at least once.
7. Phil and Paul have this strange idea that the peloton worries about the Alpine stages. Really?
8. Erik Zabel will be referred to as "old" at least fourteen times.

Landis Hearing Wrapping Up

There is so much going on with Floyd Landis's hearing that I just haven't had the time to go into all the detail. For all the latest news I check Velonews.com and also Trust But Verify, which has been posting unbelievably detailed reports. If you're a Floyd fan like me then these two sites will definitely keep you updated.

On a sad note, Velonews is reporting that Floyd Landis has all but exhausted his legal defense funds. This means that if he is found guilty, he doesn't have the cash for an appeal. You can add driving riders to poverty right after character assassination, which apparently are both in the charters of the USADA, WADA, and at least hinted at by the UCI. I'm just really glad that I'm not a professional cyclist, and yes, that is beer in my Camelback. And no, you can't have any.

Snakes on a Plane - For Real!

Link: FOXNews.com - Cairo Airport Customs Seize Egyptian Trying to Smuggle 700 Live Snakes on Plane
And you think Hollywood makes this stuff up.

CAIRO, Egypt  —  Customs officers at Cairo's airport on Thursday detained a man bound for Saudi Arabia who was trying to smuggle 700 live snakes on a plane, airport authorities said.    

The officers were stunned when a passenger, identified as Yahia Rahim Tulba, after being asked to open his carry-on bag, told them it contained live snakes.

Tulba opened his bag to show the snakes to the police and asked the officers, who held a safe distance, not to come close. Among the various snakes, hidden in small cloth sacks, were two poisonous cobras.

The Egyptian said he had hoped to sell the snakes in Saudi Arabia. Police confiscated the snakes and turned Tulba over to the prosecutor's office, accusing him of violating export laws and endangering the lives of other passengers.

He had the snakes, but at least all his liquids were three ounces or less and put into a Ziploc sandwich bag for easy screening.

Minear's DRIVE Canceled

Both TV Guide and TV Squad are reporting that Tim Minear's new series DRIVE has already been canceled by Fox after only one week. Ratings were supposedly low and DRIVE failed to attract the PRISON BREAK audience, but Fox really jumped the gun here. Canceling a show after just one week seems extreme at best. According to TV Guide, the remaining two episodes of DRIVE will be shown over the summer. In it's place Fox has decided to show HOUSE...again. HOUSE is now on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and some Wednesdays. Other days of the week on Fox you can watch AMERICAN IDOL, AMERICAN IDOL, and, of course, AMERICAN IDOL following an encore episode of HOUSE. Oh yeah, I still think Fox is running 24 guest starring Jack Bauer.

If you don't know who Tim Minear is, he worked with Joss Whedon on ANGEL and FIREFLY -- two of my favorite shows of all time. If in fact there were only two remaining episodes of DRIVE that were ready for air, Fox should have let them run. I know that they are concerned about the lead-up into the lackluster Season 6 of 24, but two more weeks wouldn't have hurt them. 24 rocked this past Monday thanks to Joel Surnow breaking out the pen, and the buzz should ensure enough 24 viewers for the last couple of episodes. I don't see how yet another repeat of HOUSE will help. But I guess I'm not a network executive. What do I know? I actually liked 300.

I think Tim Minear really got the short end of the stick here. It wouldn't have hurt Fox to run the final two episodes. It would have been the gentlemanly thing to do, and heck they don't really have anything to fill the spot anyway. Fox did the same thing with VANISHED in the fall and where the heck is STANDOFF? I know that AMERICAN IDOL is a huge success, but a network cannot define itself by a single show. Even NBC, which used to be the king of the hill, had several series that made up a suite of successes that they could bank on every week, but like FOX, NBC got into the whole canceling and hiatus thing, and now they're licking their wounds.

Chicken Bird Pants for Proto-Revolutionists

It's the blog post with no purpose. I haven't written since last week when I bitched about '24', and I didn't want to continue the downward spiral of whining and complaining. '24' seemed a bit more like itself this week with more Jack and Chloe, but Chloe seemed out of character a bit. I have no clue what happened to my favorite show this season. It kinda has me bummed out. For the past five years '24' broke new ground and kept me and a whole bunch of others glued to the small screen. It was like little one hour doses of Tom Clancy and David Baldacchi every week. Now I don't know what's going on, but I do know that I'm not alone. I think Joel Surnow should take time away from his other projects and whip the show back into shape. I don't know if Season 6 can be saved at this point. It makes me sad. I just hope the show that kept things "real" doesn't fall down the slippery slope of political correctness. That will be its end.

Yahoo announced that it was "going green." Okay, I'm not sure how you just decide to "go green." Buying a whole bunch of carbon offsets doesn't do it. The only way to truly "Go Green" is to promote and use clean sources of energy. We will continue to need more energy, especially with the emergence of India and China as economic superpowers, and promoting and advancing clean, renewable sources is the only way to truly "Go Green." Paying some company to supposedly plant trees in Ecuador because you feel guilty about flying your G5 to Paris for caviar doesn't do it. It's a feel good cocktail party conversation load of bull. Want to make a real difference? Invest some of the carbon offset money into research and development of SCIENTIFIC SOLUTIONS that will actually make a difference -- things like improved battery technology, solar power, wind power, cold fusion, bio-diesel, hybrid technologies, or really buff hamsters. The only way to truly "Go Green" and solve the problem is to bring these technologies to market as a better, more economical solution to fossil fuels. That is the challenge, and I'd rather see these big corporations investing their money into finding solutions instead of "feel good" short term publicity stunts. [End rant here.]

Other things: Can't wait for the iPhone; I really want an XBOX 360 so I can play HALO 3; I don't know why they remade HAIRSPRAY; my car is dirty; and try roasting a bulb of garlic in beer -- it's good.

Stuck on the Runway?

Link: By Ken Levine: Travel tips for winter fliers
Check out Ken Levine's travel tips. They'll come in handy when you're sitting trapped in a plane for ten hours. Some may call it unlawful imprisonment, Jet Blue called it flight delays, but come prepared and remember that Al Gore already made it there already 'cuz he took a private jet.

The Big Blog Entry

It's been a crazy month, and I've been away from the blog. Today I'm just gonna post some random thoughts -- kinda like a Larry King column.

Amgen Tour of California
So this guy Jason Donald from team Slipstream (Right... Who, you're asking...) blew the doors off the entire field, including World and National Champs, during the thigh-ripping Prologue up Coit Tower. Only last year's winner, Levi Leipheimer, could beat him, and Levi had to pour it on at full burn to do it. Wow! I have a feeling Jason will have a ProTour contract real soon.

I forgot to set my DVR to record Stage 1, so I missed the massive crash that involved over 80 riders in the finishing circuit. The officials decided to give the field the same time even though they were outside the 3km "crash and stuff" finishing rule. I think it to be a good call. When over 70% of the race is on the ground three miles out in one turn of the finishing circuit, it's a good call.

Garmin Forerunner 305
I got one for my birthday. If you're into cycling, running, or just chasing traffic, you need to get one of these. It's simply amazing. You can upload your data and look at your route on Google Maps, plus analyze splits, average speed, elevation changes, speed on ascents and descents, and instant weather at the time of your workout. Garmin also has the Edge 305 that does the same stuff, but clips to your bike's handlebars. Multisport flunkies like me should opt for the watch-based Forerunner, but you can't use it in the water. One more thing to slap on at the transition.

Writers Writing for Writers
I've always been suspicious of this fact and there's a really good article THAT I CAN'T FIND NOW from over the weekend in the New York Times...or Post...or New Yorker...one of those. It says that poets in America now write to impress other poets. The academic inbreeding and constant need to impress each other has produced sterile and flat poetry that only pleases the pointy heads in academia, while everyone else ignores it. The writer of the article cited Hemingway as being the example that modern poets should go by. He went out and experienced life and then wrote about it -- he didn't experience writing and write about it. Some food for thought...

Depressing Movies
What the hell is up with film these days? It seems that lately all the big celebrated films are dark and depressing. I saw CHILDREN OF MEN at the Arclight in Hollywood last week, and yes, it is a brilliant piece of filmmaking from the standpoint of the art form, but DAMN! They should have had a bowl of Prozac or something for afterward. I mean the homemade caramel popcorn only goes so far. I'm really in need of a movie that makes me cheer. I've heard good things about 300.

24 and HEROES
Two of my favorite shows are on at the same time. The SF world has been analyzing the ratings to see which one is winning the race. It's true that the demographic has some overlap, but both shows attract a diverse audience. I watch 24 live and then watch HEROES later. Sorry, Jack Bauer is the man!

STUDIO 60
The LA Times, Ken Levine, and a whole bunch of people complained about how they didn't like this show so it got changed. It's now more of a romantic comedy. I liked it before. Sure, it wasn't an accurate depiction of a late night show. Sure, the writers' room wasn't realistic, but I didn't care. I liked the quirky ensemble. Now that it's focused down as a romantic comedy, you don't get to see the whole cast. Why does it have to be realistic? It's fiction! It's a show! Despite all this, I still enjoy watching, but not as much as before.

WORLD TRADE CENTER
I finally caught this Oliver Stone movie, and I also read the script. The script had nothing to do with the film. I hate that. You read a script and then what you see on the screen is completely different. Why read the script? Anyway, it was a great film, well acted, well put together, but you have to be ready to watch it. My heart still sinks every time I see the NYC skyline without those towers.

No. 10 Gin from Tanqueray
I got a bottle for my birthday. It's the best gin I've ever had.

Starbucks Coffee
I used to be a hard-core Starbucks junkie back in the day. Their coffee was so strong that you had to drink it with a fork -- ah, and remember the sandy bits of grounds between the teeth...memories... Well, over the past few years it seems that Starbucks drip coffee has gotten weaker and weaker. It's now no more thick and meaty than the metallic tasting crap at Dennys. Their espresso is worse. I've ordered lattes before and couldn't even taste the coffee -- even with four shots! So, as a public service I am hereby posting my coffee chain selections that meet or exceed the fork test:
1. Pete's Coffee - Hell, Lance drinks it!
2. Urth Coffee - LA Area - Organic and Strong
3. Tully's Coffee - Best Espresso Ever, except for Lux in Phoenix
4. Seattle's Best - Besides Tully's, it is

Ken Levine: Thanksgiving travel tips

Link: By Ken Levine: Thanksgiving travel tips
Ken Levine has some really handy travel tips for this week. Here are some highlights:

Leave for the airport NOW. Especially if your flight is on Wednesday.

Bring no luggage. Wearing the same clothes for a week is a small price to pay.

Southwest has no reserved seating. Get in one of the latter groups boarding. You don’t want to be one of the first to sit then watch as fifty people glance at the empty seat next to you, then to you, and decide to sit somewhere else.

If you have children under the age of five tell your relatives one has an ear ache and make everyone come to YOU.

Those people in the Stand-By line – those are the same people who think they can get rich selling Amway products, and the Tooth Fairy really exists. Don’t fly Stand-By unless you like sleeping in airport terminals for five days.

Click the link above to read the rest.

Fascism Rules In California Town of Belmont

Link: San Mateo Daily Journal - Belmont to be first U.S. city to ban all smoking
Let me be clear -- I am not a smoker, but I believe in personal liberty. Unfortunately fascism is making a big comeback in America and no one is safe.

Belmont is set to make history by becoming the first city in the nation to ban smoking on its streets and almost everywhere else.

The Belmont City Council voted unanimously last night to pursue a strict law that will prohibit smoking anywhere in the city except for single-family detached residences.

Smoking on the street, in a park and even in one’s car will become illegal and police would have the option of handing out tickets if they catch someone.

You can't smoke in YOUR OWN CAR! Is that the most insane thing that you've ever heard? I can understand restaurants and other public places...except of course for bars. Bars should be refuges for adults to go do adult things like smoke, drink, and play pool. But banning smoking in one's own automobile? What else will they ban? Will they tell us what music to listen to, what to drink, or even legislate conversations between passengers?

Also note that smoking will be allowed only in "detached single-family homes." That means apartments and townhomes will be off limits to smokers. This is a huge slap in the face to the poor. Many people with lower incomes cannot afford "detached single-family homes" so smoking in Belmont will only be the privilege of the rich. I can't believe this! I hope it's a joke.

The Daily Journal is concurrently running a poll about this story and here is how it's shaking out as of 11:18 AM PST.

That makes me feel a little better...just a little bit.

Listen, it's only a matter of time before the Food Police are after us, counting calories on our plates, and arresting us for eating too much thus burdening the health-care system. They're gonna go after alcohol, movies, video games, fried food, mountain biking, cupcakes, and shrimp cocktail. The fascists are going to say that they're "protecting us" and "protecting the children" when all they're doing is stripping our freedoms away and taking more and more power.

Am I freaking out a bit? Maybe, but as a science fiction writer I sit and think about this stuff for stories all the time. In fact SF is filled with all the possible futures that seem to come truer everyday.

Stay vigilant people. Once freedoms are taken away, they're almost damn impossible to be reclaimed. Check your history books.  ...comments welcome...

I'm A Bad Bad Blogger

Yes, I am a bad blogger. Blogs should be updated regularly and hopefully everyday. I don't have much of an excuse other than apathy and junk like that. I've been doing a bunch of traveling and stuff over the past three weeks, so when it came down to updating this thing...well, the beer won. Beer always wins.

My wife Wendy ran the Marine Corps Marathon in D.C. It was a blast! She did awesome and I got to run the 10K with my father. The Marines did a hell of a job organizing the thing and there was always one nearby to answer questions and help out. We watched at the finish for Wendy and got to see the most amazing site. Marines were lined up along the finishing straight encouraging one and all to get across the line. We saw one young Marine propping up a young-lady who looked to be injured. He acted as her right leg so she could make it the last fifty yards and finish. After the finish, there was a bottle neck to get to the water, so several Marines took it upon themselves to grab cases of water and swim upstream, handing them out to tired runners. The whole experience helped deepen my respect for our men and women in uniform.

I attended Screenwriting Expo in LA a few weeks ago and got to see Harlan Ellison interview Ronald D. Moore. It was amazing! After listening to Ron Moore talk I realized that we both value similar things in writing. It helped me understand Battlestar Galactica. BSG is not about the best and the brightest trying to save humanity (like in the original). It's about this old, busted up ship with a dysfunctional crew trying to figure it all out. These ain't the cream of the crop, but society's screw-ups trying to organize, form a government, determine their purpose, and rediscover their humanity. Hell, who wouldn't green light that pitch!

After listening to Ron Moore talk, it was clear that we have a lot of the same values about honor, respect, and personal sacrifice. It had me giving BSG another try, allowing me to look at it from a different angle. Since then I am enjoying the series -- yes, I said it. Mr. Moore changed my mind. He's a great guy and someone I wouldn't mind working with someday.

So, I'm back here at the keyboard pledging to update everyday. With the holidays coming up, I'm sure most of us will be looking for an excuse to get away from the parties, endless small talk, and watching Aunt Mabel gorge herself of turkey flesh at the table. So I promise to have something for you to read, scream, or giggle at everyday. The Holidays are always portrayed as a wonderful time, but as we all know as adults, it's a bunch of running around, buying crap, eating a lot, and avoiding the PC police (Is it Holiday, Christmas, Winter Solstice, Uber Fiesta Funtime?).

Yeah, it's stressful. But it doesn't have to be. My message for how to survive is to determine what the Holidays mean to you -- not your family tradition, society's view, or anything else -- find out what it means to you and live that. Hold onto it. It will get you through. Just don't eat so damn much, work out, and make sure to spike the eggnog heavily.